UPDATED! Adventures in Toy Collecting: Foiled by UPS

Haha!  Man!  I’m good!  I kept you guys hanging all week, didn’t I?  Talk about a cliffhanger!  Bet that was worse than watching all those old Batman shows on TV.  You know the ones, I’m talkin’.  Were the dynamic duo gonna be able to get out of this week’s pickle?  Can you hear it?  Can you hear the announcer say:  “Will our friendly neighborhood jman make it to the UPS facility seventeen towns over before his Black Widow figure is shipped back to Sideshow Collectibles by the evil UPS workers?

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Same Bat time.  Same Bat channel!

Good times.  Good times.  So, after spending my Friday evening heading up the turnpike to the UPS processing center, I was FINALLY able to get a hold of my package.  Only after a quick, but frightening scare of the UPS lady not being able to find my package, that is:

“Name?”  The UPS lady asked me, standing in front of a seriously abused computer.

“Your friendly neighborhood jman.”  I replied, trying to contain my excitement.

She pecked around on the computer’s keyboard for a bit.  Then a bit more.  “I don’t know.”  She murmured.

“You don’t know?”  I questioned, taking a step forward.  I looked at the computer’s monitor.  Like I could glean any kind of information from the gibberish on the dirty screen.

“Hmmmm.  Yea.”  She said thoughtfully.  “I can’t seem to locate your package.  How about this?  What’s your address?”


Isn’t this fucking great!?!??  I thought to myself (who else would I think to?  you?).  This is just my luck!  “Sure.  It’s 1234 Alphabet St (you didn’t really think I was gonna let you cretins know my address, didja?!?!?).

The UPS lady pecked around the keyboard some more, muttering every now and again. “Wait.”  She stopped suddenly.  “F u?!?!?”  She said, arching her eyebrow in my general direction.

I looked at her blankly for a long moment.  F u?  What was she talking about?  The lil hamster in my head was spinning over time.  F u?  Until it finally dawned on me.   “Uh…yea.”  I managed between fits of embarrassed laughter.  “I, uhhhhh…forgot.  I made my “company name” F. U. on my shipping address, didn’t I?

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What she talkin bout.  What she talkin bout?!?!?

The UPS woman shook her head.  “Yep.  You did.”  She said looking at me like the stupid 12 year old I really am.

“Yea…”  I chuckled, sheepishly.

see? i wasn't lying.  12 years old.
see? i wasn’t lying. 12 years old.

“I’ll be right back with your package.”  She said, turning toward the doors leading to the magical place where everyone’s packages eagerly await to be delivered.  “Then, you can tell me all about the work you do at F.U.”

this is what they call a teaser...
this is what they call a teaser…


Images courtesy of:

Warehouse:  hypenotice.com

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