The Wayback Machine: A Love Bizarre

i'm more than qualified to pilot this thing...
i’m more than qualified to pilot this thing…

Guess what everyone?!?!?  It’s that time again!  It’s time for another trip in the Wayback Machine.  So, gather up your belongings, and take small children by the hand.  And, btw, make sure you take ALL your trash AND all your kids with you this time.  I gotta return this thing back to Cern when we’re done with it.  And, those scienticians don’t want your shit, ok?!?!?  Besides, they’ll just turn your kids into dinosaurs or zombies or something like that if you leave them behind.  And you don’t want that…do you?  Uhhhhh…nevermind.

Anyway…buckle up.  Cause here we go…

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The year is 1986.

now if this don't make you feel old!
now if this don’t make you feel old!

The first PC Virus began to spread, Pixar Animation Studios opened it’s doors, and the Good Will Games were held in Moscow.  Your friendly neighborhood jman was just a young lad of 15 years.  And the song “A Love Bizarre” by Sheila E. was in heavy rotation on all the Top 40 stations.

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I remember HATING this song when it was first released.  Please!  It had Prince’s stank all over it.  And it was totally uncool to like Prince back in 86 (Who, btw, is totally rockin’ a ‘fro these days?!?!?  What’s that all about?  Is he channeling Hendrix or something?).  The only thing that was cool to listen to was Def Lep, Jovi or Poison.  Get caught listening to Prince (or any of his “protégés”) and there went your cred.  Well, that is…if you even had any cred.

i'll never forget the moment when i flipped this album over for the first time and realized these "girls" were dudes
i’ll never forget the moment when i flipped this album over for the first time and realized these “girls” were dudes

Actually, I’m pretty sure I hated “A Love Bizarre” up until a few weeks ago when I heard it on the radio for the first time in years.  All the sudden, I’m like:  “Yea!  This shit is my jam!” as I cranked it up to 11.  I bet I looked totally badass rockin out in the ol’ minivan!  Cruising down the streets of Downtown Ben Salom, wearing a winter jacket, the windows all rolled up and shit.  Yea!  That’s right.  I got one word for y’all:  Bad Ass.

the silver bullet!
the silver bullet!

As soon as I got home, I downloaded the song off iTunes.  I didn’t even pirate it.  I actually bought it!  Who’s got time to pirate stuff anymore, anyway?  It’s too time consuming, and just easier to plunk the 1.29 down for the digital file, that I don’t quite own.  But, hey, whatever…

it's just not worth the time or effort anymore...
it’s just not worth the time or effort anymore…

Since then, I’ve been playing the hell out of it.  It dawned on me, probably by the 17th or 18th listening how “dirty” the song is.  That’s probably ‘cause I was just a stupid kid the last time I heard it.  Now, I’m just a stupid adult.  That Prince, man, what a perv!  To illustrate my point further, I’d like to leave you with some words from the song, before we swing back to the present day (‘cause, lest you forget, we’re still in the Wayback Machine).

The lyrics go a lil something like thus:

“…a kiss on the spine, we do things we’d never do

swallow the pride and joy of the ivory tower…”

 

No wonder Tipper Gore had her panties in a bunch back in the 80’s!

well, i never!
well, i never!

 

images courtesy of:

collider:  boston.com

people magazine:  www.people.com

prince:  www.flickriver.com

tipper:  www.thelocalq.com

van:  www.drivetime.com

pirate:  flickr.com

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