Man! I can not believe how long it’s been since I’ve last talked about Oreos! It seems like only yesterday I was droning on and on about the original Triple Double or the Triple Double Redux or even our Food Week! Special about Oreos. But, no. It’s been ages since I’ve made mention of America’s favorite cookie. So, now is the time we rectify this most egregious error of mine. And we’ll do it with…
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The limited edition Chocolate Mint Triple Double Oreo!!!
The thing is, I’ve been holding onto these cookies for some time. Weeks now, actually. It’s been so long, in fact, I can’t even remember where I bought them. The good news, though, is that I totally remember why I bought them. And that’s to entertain you, my loyal listener.
Either way, it’s not so much my fault that we’re so far removed from the buying date. I hid the cookies from the scavengers that have taken up residence in my house. And in doing so, I kinda forgot about them. Out of sight, out of mind. My fellow parents will testify, though, if you want something, anything, to last in your house, you gotta hide it! Amiright?!??
And, honestly, the only reason I brought them out of hiding/remembered where they were, was because we had a cookie emergency one night not too long ago:
“Dad. We’re out of cookies.” Jethro (who’s in charge of making lunches for school) informed me at the early hour of 9:00ish pm (as in nighttime), from outside my room. “What are we gonna do for lunch?!?”
I looked over at him, from my desk, and calmly, nay…almost philosophically, shrugged.
Jethro just stared. “Do you have any money?” He offered up.
I don’t know why he asks me that. He’s been living under my guard for over 12 years. He should know by now I never have cash on me. “No.” I replied, still annoyed at being disturbed from my work at doing nothing. “Why?”
“We’re out of cookies.” He said again, rather flatly.
“Jett.” I said, shaking my head. “I’m not going out now and getting cookies.”
“I know.” He shrugged. “So…”
It finally dawned on me, through our short, painful exchange, what he was getting at. “And I don’t have enough money for everyone to buy lunches tomorrow.” I quickly followed up.
“So what are we supposed to do?”
“I don’t know.” I said, making my way over to where he was standing. “Don’t we have any granola bars?”
“No?” I looked at him, like he switched to Chinese all the sudden. “I just bought them! What the hell happened to all of them?”
“We ate them.” He shrugged.
“What? Like three at a time? Did you guys make granola bar sandwiches or something?” Clearly, I’m the idiot here. “Whatever. What about Pop Tarts? Give everyone one Pop Tart for dessert.”
“One Pop Tart?”
“Yes! If you want any Pop Tarts for the end of the week, you’ll give everyone “ONE”…“A”…Pop Tart.”
“Ok.” He said, turning to leave. I swear he was rolling his eyes at my Pop Tart suggestion when he turned away.
“Wait! Jett!” I called after him. “I’ve got cookies.”
He looked up at me from the bottom of the steps. “Ok.”
I zipped past him on the way to the kitchen. Natalia watched me buzz by, from her station at the computer desk. “Close your eyes.” I nodded at her, as I grab the package of cookies from their hiding spot.
She shook her head in typical teenage disgust. “Whatever, Dad.”
“Here, Jett.” I said, handing him the cookies. “Oh. Wait.” I grab the package back from him. “Hang on…”
“What?” Jethro asked, slightly bewildered by my sudden reversal.
“I’ve got to take pictures first.”
“Pictures?” Natalia asked. “Of what? The cookies? What for?!?!?” I opened my mouth to reply, but Natalia quickly cut me off. “Wait.” She shook her head. “Nevermind. It’s probably for your stupid blog. Only you would take pictures of cookies for a blog.”
“Jett!” I said, turning to the boy standing behind me.
“No cookies for that person over there.” I said, pointing to Natalia. “Give her a granola bar in her lunch.”
“But, we don’t have any granola bars, Dad. I told you that already.” Jethro pointed out. Again.
“I know.” I said, grinning at Natalia. “Smartass…”
“Whatever, Dad.” She mumbled, returning her attention back to Tumblr or whatever social media stupid kids are using today.
Oh…BTW. The limited edition Chocolate Mint Triple Double Oreos are quite delightful, if you can find them, that is.
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Images courtesy of:
Granola Bars: www.cincinnaticents.com
Pop Tarts: www.amazon.com