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Look at me. Providing the transcript of the show for your reading pleasure. You can thank me by sending me small bills on a regular basis…
Welcome to another episode of yfn jman’s internet. I am your host yfn jman. Today’s show were gonna geek out and talk a bit bout evil personified, Darkseid. Specifically, two recent variations of Darksied. One from Mattel’s Unlimited line and the other from DC Collectible’s Justice League line.
That’s right, you guess it! We’re comparin and contrastin.
Before we do, though, I feel as though a brief history lesson is in order. Settle down, class. Settle down. None of this is going to be on the quiz.
Let’s start with the basics. Firstly, his name is pronounced “Darkside”. Not “Darkseed”.
Darkseid was created by the great Jack Kirby in 1970, that was even before the internet was gleam in Al Gore’s eye. Darkseid’s first appearance was in issue 134 of Superman’s Pal Jimmy Olsen. And really, what kind of fucking name is that for a comic book, amiright?
My first run-in Darkseid, personally though, was in the early 80’s. My folks had gotten my brother and myself each a subscription to a monthly comic book. I got Superman, of course. My brother got…Legion of Superheroes?!?!? Why Legion? I think my folks just flipped a coin and picked that title.
Cause my brother at the time was probably was 6. And what 6 year old says to their folks “ma and pa…I want to read Legion of Superheroes”? I’ll field that answer for you. None. None do. Legion of Superheroes is like coffee, beer and asparagus. It’s an acquired taste.
But, got them in the mail my brother did. All 12 issues. Unbeknownst to my stupid brother, though, I still have those Legion issues. I’m comfortable admitting this here because my brother is the hardest working man is show business and doesn’t have time to watch this show.
Anyway…as it turns out, I ended up getting, through my brother, every issue of the Great Darkness Saga one of the defining Darkseid story arcs, if not the defining story arc. Which was my introduction to the evil might of Darkseid!!!!
Wait! Where you going? I didn’t dismiss class yet? Know what? I lied! All of that will be on the test!
Which brings us to the toys.
First up we’ve got Mattel’s (puny) Darkseid from the DC Unlimited line. The production pictures of this guy were not that impressive. At all. Actually, I only bought him, just to do this bit. I totally intended to make fun of this figure, up and down.
But after getting him, it turns out, he’s not such a bad figure, after all. I guess. The one thing he’s really got going for him is the price tag. $15.99 isn’t too bad a price to pay.
Still though, I think his head’s a little oversized, as are his shoulder pads. And he’s pretty much in proportion with the rest of the other DC characters from the Unlimited line, which is ok is you like your toys totally and completely unrealistic.
Good luck finding this guy at retail., though. I bought this one from Amazon back in May when he was first released. It wasn’t until recently, months later, that I actually saw one in a real live store.
But, enough of this clown. This. This is the real reason I gathered you all here today.
DC Collectibles new52 Justice League version. This guy is everything that is right in the world. Impressive isn’t even the right word. He’s measures in at 13 inches tall, he’s got a 4 inch inseam and nearly 6 pounds of pure, unadulterated refined crude (find tim the tool man barking).
The “problem”? He retails for $89.99. That is a bit pricey for…well, all of us. I got him 20 bucks cheaper off eBay. I did it for you, not for me. See how I am? I’m a giver. Total giver. I spend my hard earned money to entertain you. And believe you me, I definitely got some mileage out of him. This is the third bit, I’ve used him in.
Maybe I shouldn’t admit that kinda shit, here.
Anyway, even at 89.99,he’s worth every bloody penny. My recommendation? If you’ve fed the kids for the week, paid the electric and the mortgage and still have a spare 90, get this figure!!!
Know what, how bout this…I can probably help you justify the expenditure even further. Put the 15.99 that you were gonna spend on the Mattel version to the DC Collectible one. Actually, that’s not even true. It’s not just 15.99. It’s gonna cost you more. With shipping and all. So, for argument’s sake, let’s just say it’ll would’ve cost you 20 bucks all told for the Mattel version. Now, if you put that 20 to the $89.99 price of the DC Collectibles version, now, it’s only $69.99! And if you think about it, that’s only 60 bucks! Smart people round down, my friends. Round down.
I’m not done yet. I’ll help you out even further justifying this expenditure. You cut out a few Starbucks coffees, pack a lunch or two and all the sudden this guy really is only gonna cost you 20 bucks. And here you were just about ready shell out 20 for the Mattel version. You’re an idiot.