117: My Kingdom for a Decent Shirt

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Awwww….yea!  A brand spanking internet show.  Just for you.  And….AND…it’s in glorious stereo (actually, it’s in dual mono.  Whatever the hell that means).  And because I’m feeling frisky today…I’m including the transcript for your reading pleasure…

I’m not independently wealthy.  I have what they call a “day” job.  Sounds like I’m some sort of vampire, doesn’t it?   Or a rock star.  A wannabe rock star, that is.

Don’t let the hair fool ya.  I’m just a wannabe internet star.

Anyway, my day job, just like most other day jobs, isn’t anything glamorous. Probably why I don’t talk bout it much.  At all.   I’m just your average, ordinary cube jockey.  Rocking the PC all the live long day.

(eye roll)

Anyway…in my day job I wear dress type shirts.  Like this.  And this.  And this.

Nothing too fancy cause the shirts don’t last very long.  I blow out the elbows.  See?  It’s like I’m some sorta stupid kid that wears out the bottom of his sneakers from stopping his bike with his feet instead of brakes.  Or a stupid kid constantly getting holes in the knees of their pants cause, god knows why kids get holes in their knees.

(head shake) Stupid kids.

I know I can’t really expect for shirts to last forever.  I’m a reasonable man.  But, over the course of 2 months, I managed to blow out the elbows of 6 shirts.  In two months time!  That’s just stupid.  That’s like one shirt every (pretend calculate) I don’t know.  You do the math.  All’s I know is that 6 shirts is pretty much a wardrobe, right there.

And it’s not like these shirts were that old, either.   I mean, they weren’t all right out of the package, but for real…6 shirts in two months?!?!?

I’ve come to the conclusion that I need some sort of reinforced elbows.  Forget steel tip shoes.  I need steel plated elbows.

My kingdom for a shirt that lasts!  Or better yet…for one of these internet shows of mine to take off.  So I don’t have to worry about wearing stupid dress shirts anymore.

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