Teaching your kid to drive. Part 1.

cozy coupe

Here’s yet another thing “they” don’t teach you in school, but should…how to prepare yourself for when it’s time for your first kid to learn how to drive.

I knew the day was coming.  I mean, we all do, right?  I guess for about 16 odd years I knew the day was coming.  Especially, though, the last 365 days of those 16 odd years with Sarah constantly reminding me about it.

Along with my kid-like charm, part of my skill set includes (but is not limited, too) the uncanny ability to not have to deal with things until, well..ever, if circumstance dictate.  Which they most certainly never do.  But, unfortunately for your friendly neighborhood jman, Sarah’s wanting to drive is something that I had to deal with.

Where do I begin?  Where do I begin?  The whole experience is enough to activate your defense mechanism of locking yourself into your room, putting on your headphones, crawling into the furthest corner of said room and hoping shit will somehow resolve it’s self.


But, it doesn’t.

We might as well start at the beginning as all stories do.  When two people love each other, a man will put his With the teaching of the driving itself?  When you’ve been driving for a quarter of a century, stuff just gets ingrained into your consciousness.  The trick is to impart that “stuff” to whomever it is you’re teaching.  Which is not as easy as it sounds.  This is where that tech from the Matrix would come in real handy.

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I remember the good times me and my ol’ man had while he was trying to impart his knowledge of driving onto me.  Whewwwww.  I’m not sure how either one of us made it through.  We sorta can laugh about it now.  Only because we still don’t talk about it.

like this, but with a lot more screaming.  and a lot more crying.
like this, but with a lot more screaming. and a lot more crying.

I know enough about myself, from the first time I took Sarah out on the road, that I wouldn’t be able to teach her.  It wasn’t like she did anything wrong, per se.  Considering it was her first time behind the wheel.  It’s more that I have an issue with control and couldn’t brace myself internally for all my imagined scenarios of us careening off the road, off a cliff and plunging to our fiery demises.


Even though we were in the middle of a parking lot.

parking lot

That first time out was enough for me to realize that I should never get in the passenger seat with Sarah behind the wheel ever again.  Which, should be interpreted as Sarah was never going to drive ever again.  But, if nothing else, Sarah is driven (literally and figuratively).  She was going to get her license after the state mandated 6 month waiting period, come hell or high water.  Or whine trying.

What I really should’ve been bracing myself for was the reaming I was going to get from the insurance company after the inevitable fact of Sarah getting her license.

But, like I said, I have this uncanny ability.

Clicketh here to head on over to part deuce.


Check out my new show, 117.  It *may make you laff…

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Images courtesy of:

Parking lot:  dharmabeachbum.com

Man crying:  tt13.wordpress.com

Car off the cliff:  www.artofmanliness.com

Driving:  1000awesomethings.com

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