117: Down with the man in the red suit

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Yep.  It’s that time of year again.

Seriously.  Why do we do it?  Why do we do it to ourselves?

Why do we propagate this myth about Santa?  We do all the work and that fat man in red velvet gets all the credit.

It’s crazy, if you ask me.

Stop and think about it for a second.  We as parents spend our hard earned money

And money we haven’t even earned yet.

To buy all these gifts for our kids.  Stuff that they want, but don’t really need.  And then tell them Santa brings it to them while they’re asleep.

don't worry lil girl.  that doll won't come to life when your asleep and try to eat your brains.
don’t worry lil girl. that doll won’t come to life when your asleep and try to eat your brains.

Why?!?!?  Cause it’s cute?

It’s crazy!  That’s like giving all the cred for all the work you did on some report to a co-worker you hate.


Forget the money part, for a second.

Actually, don’t forget the money part.  Cause it’s important.  Let’s just put it aside and ignore it for a moment.

Because I want to draw your attention to the other important commodity that gets “overspent” if you will, during Christmas.


Let us not forget the time investment we put into Christmas every year.   it’s a shit ton of work, amiright?  Anyone?   Anyone?  Bueller.  Bueller?

The finding and buying of the presents.  Going store to store to find these presents.

And I’m not even talking about the decorating, the tree, the baking or the dealing with the family members.

Look.  This isn’t part of some imagined “war on Christmas.”  I say we just dial back the whole Christmas madness a bit.  Just a bit.

Ok…now that I consider it, maybe this is a war against Santa Claus.

And don’t even get me started on that stupid Elf on the Shelf shit!

guess who else is watching you?!?!?
guess who else is watching you?!?!?

Shout out to my folks for doing all this shit for me back when I was still a stupid kid.

And one more thing, I don’t want any of this to get construed as me not having any Christmas spirit.  I don’t need to be visited by 3 ghosts tonight.  I hate ghosts.  They scare me.


Images courtesy of:

Santa:  wikicommons.com

Elf on the shelf: http://www.flickr.com/photos/serpicolugnut/

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