Episode 24: My Ridiculously Overpriced Want…of my lifetime.

haunting you, i am.

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show’s transcript follows:

Welcome to another episode of your friendly neighborhood jman’s almost internet famous internet show.  As always, I am your host…your friendly neighborhood jman.

We’ve got a great show on tap today.

For awhile now, I’ve been doing this bit on my website (yfnjman.com), where I lament at great length about a figure or toy that I don’t have because of it’s ridiculous, overinflated price tag.  And because of said ridiculous overinflated price tag, I probably won’t ever own either.  I call the bit “my ridiculously overpriced want of the week.”Pretty clever of me, right?

In past bits I’ve mostly gone on about statues, Lego sets and the occasional Hot Toys figure.  But, there is one item I want the most.  I’ve been meaning to write about it for some time now.  But, I wanted to do it justice.  I saved it for this very show.

I suppose you could call this item my very own Rosebud, if you will.  It’s my most ridiculously overpriced want…well…ever.

Mego’s Elastic Hero Spider-man.

my ridiculously overpriced mego spider-man

This thing is so overpriced, it is ridiculous.  Why?  That’s a good question.  It’s so good a question, in fact, I’ll field it right now.

They’re overpriced because there aren’t many in existence any more.  It’s kinda a supply and demand thing.  I’m not an accountician, though.

I know.  Iknowiknowiknow.  I know what you’re gonna ask next.  You’re gonna ask…Why?  Why aren’t there many in existence anymore?

The answer to that question (and all the rest you may have), is your history lesson for today.

The year was 1980. Iron Maiden released their self titled debut, the sequel to this movie called STAR WARS was released with very little fanfare and your friendly neighborhood jman was just a boy of nine years old.

Hello...ladies!
Hello…ladies!

It was also the year the now defunct Mego Corporation released a line of what unfortunately can only be called stretch…dolls.  But, let me make something very clear here.  Girls play with dolls.  Dudes do not.  I reiterate…superheroes figures are not dolls.

Anywho, The Elastic Heroes, as the line was called, were 13 inch latex (make face) dolls, filled with corn syrup.  In the initial run, Mego released your standard superheroes for the time:  Superman, Batman, Hulk, Spider-man and perhaps not too surprisingly, Plastic Man.

my ridiculously overpriced want spider-man

The Elastic Heroes line proved to be a financial burden on Mego, and along with a lawsuit by Kenner toys, the line was short lived. Blah, blah, blah.

As fate were to have it, though, your friendly neighborhood lil jman must’ve been on the nice list in 1980, cause I found a Mego Elastic Hero Spider-man under my Christmas tree.

So…what made these things so great?  I have no fucking idea.  All’s I know, is that the thing was filled with stretchy goodness.  And it was awesome.  Does everything have to have some sort of complex meaning?

my ridiculously overpriced want spider-man

And what became of my Mego Elastic Hero Spidey?  As you probably could imagine, he meant an untimely and equally unfortunate demise.  He “must’ve” got punctured at some point, and leaked out his precious life blood all over the carpet in my room.  My ma probably got stupid wicked pissed, screamed a bunch at me and unceremoniously tossed Spider-man out.

And I probably haven’t been the same since.

Actually, I really didn’t give a shit, until I started collecting toys as an “adult” in the mid 90’s.  At some point during the decade of grunge, a rush of Mego Elastic Hero Spider-man memories filled me.  And since that point, I haven’t been the same.

Yes…in the nearly two decades since that non-descript moment when stretch Spidey returned to my consciousness, I’ve been on a mission to bring him back into my reality.  These days, though, Spidey can go as high as $8000.

I shit you not.

I’ve seen one or two over the years in the two – three thousand price range.  Still far far far too rich for my blood.

But, about 10 years ago, I did manage to buy one rather “cheaply”.  He wasn’t in the greatest condition, he was drained of all his stretch magic and stuffed with cotton.  It just wasn’t the same and, I really couldn’t afford him, so I ended up reselling him a short time later for a small profit.

this very one!
this very one!

And…there you have it.  My holy grail.  My ridiculously overpriced want of…my lifetime.

That’s all the time we have for today’s show.  I like to thank myself for putting this all together. Don’t forget to check out my website yfnjman.com.  That’s your friendly neighborhood jman.com.  Look me up on your favorite social media.  Twitter.  Facebook and Google plus.

Until next time.

 

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