Didn’t That Kid Just Learn to Count?

This is just the tip of the iceberg!

Sarah recently asked your friendly neighborhood jman the best way to make hard boiled eggs.  Which, apparently, is more of an exact science than it appears.  I mean, sure…you can just dump the eggs in water and “boil the shit out of them” as my mother would say.  But…that leaves the yolk tasting like, well…unhappiness.  So, I grabbed my handy dandy notebook iPad and pulled up the instructions for boiling the perfect hard boiled eggs off the internets for her.

Speaking of “unhappiness”…


“Did you end up making the eggs?”  I asked Sarah the next day.

After a moment (probably when she figured out I wasn’t going away) she looked up from her pile of SAT books.  “Yea…”  Then went right back to studying.

hard boiling eggs is more science than art
hard boiling eggs is more science than art

“Interesting….”  That’s just how it is with teenagers, though.  They’re total conversationalists.  It’s amazing the human race has made it this far in it’s evolution.  “Did you use the instructions I gave you?”  I pressed.

“No.”  She sighed, closing her book.  Loudly.  “Since I was only boiling two eggs, I cooked them for “x” amount of minutes.  And they came out fine.”

“That’s cool.”  I nodded.  “I want to make the rest of the eggs.  Maybe I’ll just cook them that way, then.”

Another sigh.  “Well, if you’re gonna do that, you’ll have to cook them at a higher temperature.  Cause…” Blahblahblah.  My mind glazed over like in my high school days when my ol’ man would go on about a physics problem I was having or some other sciency type trouble.  Sarah rambled on like that for a few minutes.  It was about that time when I thought to myself 1:  “I think Sarah’s smarter than me.”  Which was followed quickly with:  “Man!  Does she sound a lot like my ol’ man or what?”

does that look tasty or what?!?!
does that look tasty or what?!?!

It’ll tell ya, it’s a scary thing when you realize that your kid may be smarter than you.

Not to toot my own horn 2, but some might consider me an intelligent man 3.  Don’t ask me for references to who those “some” are, let’s just take it for granted there are…”some”.  So, for this soon-to-be 18 year old spouting off shit that makes my eyes roll back into my head, that’s saying something.

What, I have no idea.

In the end, though, it doesn’t matter how smart Sarah is.  I’ll still be able to kick her ass.  In arm wrestling, that is.  For now.



If you haven’t yet seen the new Almost Internet Famous Internet Show, then you are bringing shame to your family!  So…stop!



Images courtesy of:


Eggs:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/megangoodchild/

Egg meal:  https://www.flickr.com/photos/dbgg1979/

  1. Who else would I think to?  You?
  2. Toot.  Toot.
  3. “some” being “me’

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