Tales from the Vacation 2014: The trouble with Creamer.

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To wind down our coverage of Tales from the Vacation 2014, your friendly neighborhood jman brings you a very special episode of the Almost Internet Famous Internet “mini” Show.  Yup…that’s right! We’re crossing the streams here!  It’s the “mini” show meets Tales from the Vacation.  All the goodness of Tales from the Vacation, without all those stupid words to make your eyes and brain hurt.

Moving pictures, I tell ya!  It’s the wave of the future…

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Tales from the Vacation 2014: To sleep or not to sleep

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If it’s August (and at the time of this writing, it sure as shootin’ is), that can only mean one thing…No.  Not back to school.  Well, I mean…yea…it does.  But it also means…Tales from the Vacation!!!!

Yup.  It’s that time of year when your friendly neighborhood jman packs the family roadster up with kids, food and assorted shit fun, and heads on down to America’s Greatest Family Resort, Ocean City NJ.

Over the last few years, we’ve been staying at the same place in good ol’ Ocean City.  Why?  Because the place is fairly reasonable and it’s not a hundred mile walk to the beach, either.  But that reasonability comes with a price.  The beds are horrible.  Horrible.  I suspect they were crafted in the early 90’s (1890’s that is).

tales from the vacation 2014 bed

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The Importance of Toothbrushes

say a prayer for those left behind

Disclaimer:  What you’re about to read was recounted to me by NataliaYour friendly neighborhood jman did not witness any of these events.

The kids were getting themselves ready to go on vacation with their mother for a week’s stay down the shore.  Amidst all the chaos of packing for a week, in a matter of five minutes, a fascinating rule was discovered…

“Nat!”  Jakob said, carrying all his worldly possessions in a bag, down the steps into our living room.  Jethro trailed right behind him, lugging his life away, too.  “Nat!  Can you believe this kid?”

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Planet of the Jakes: the Breakfast of Champions

mmmm...breakfast.

“Dad…”  Jakob said, walking into the laundry room.  I was doing my last minute ironing, right before rushing off to work.  Like I do every other morning.

“What’s up, Jakob?”  I asked, turning the shirt that I was ironing over to make a run on the other side.

drying cleaning is so overrated.
drying cleaning is so overrated.

Sarah didn’t eat any of the pizza we left for her last night.”  He stated matter of factly.

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