Sarah recently asked your friendly neighborhood jmanthe best way to make hard boiled eggs. Which, apparently, is more of an exact science than it appears. I mean, sure…you can just dump the eggs in water and “boil the shit out of them” as my mother would say. But…that leaves the yolk tasting like, well…unhappiness. So, I grabbed my handy dandy notebook iPad and pulled up the instructions for boiling the perfect hard boiled eggs off the internets for her.
It was a trick question. “Maybe” never ever ever ever means “yes”. When you’re a parent (even when you’re not), whenever you toss out the word “maybe” as an answer to a question, 9.999999 times out of 10, you really mean “no”. But, you don’t want to hear any crap from the Asker (or is it “Askee”?!? I always get the “ee” and the “er” mixed up). All’s you really want is for the Asker to go into some other room and leave you alone, with as little fuss as possible.
I knew it! Did you see the way that Bacon was looking at me?
Say what?!?!? The way it was looking at you? Dude…you are nuts. Bacon wouldn’t give you the time of day if you were the last human on Earth. That Bacon was totally checking me out!!! Probably couldn’t get over the cut of my jib, too.