Planet of the Jakes: “S’up Denise?” PT1

this is the exact reason why athletes practice
I was working hard on an article (read:  trolling the internets pretty much doing everything but working hard on an article) in my office (read:  bedroom), when there was a knock on the door.  “Daaaaaaaaaad?”  A voice called out from the hallway.
I rolled my eyes.  Can’t they see I’m working here?  Well, maybe they could if the door was open.  But, that wouldn’t have stopped them anyway.  What’s a brother gotta do to get a seconds worth of peace around here?  Do I gotta start locking myself in the bathroom again?  “Yes, Jakob?” I called out.  Yea, I knew it was him.  You can call it parent’s intuition.  Either that or I recognized the voice.  Whichever.

“Can I come in?”

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Planet of the Jakes: Crimes and Punishments PT2

Nice try.  But after four kids?  This look just makes me laugh!  Hahahahaha!

Feel free to catch up here

“Wait a minute.”  I call out to Jakob.  “When did you go to Dunkin?”

Jakob froze in his tracks.  He glanced up at the top of the steps.  He was almost there.  So closed to sweet freedom.  So close!  His head dropped in defeat.  “Uhhhh…just now.”  He offered up reluctantly.

“But, you didn’t ask me to go, did you?”  I asked.  Yes.  I was leading the witness, your honor.

“No.”  He sighed.

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Planet of the Jakes: Crimes and Punishments PT1

Not this Solomon

I was doing my best Cinderella (Cinderelly.  Cinderelly.  Night and day, it’s Cinderelly   Make the fire, fix the breakfast.  Wash the dishes, do the mopping), ironing my work clothes (Yes.  I iron my clothes.  It’s the biggest pain in the ass.  And if you tell me to just buy wrinkle free clothes…I tell you that wrinkle free/wrinkle resistant clothes are a total and complete farce.  And dry cleaning? Please.  If I had that kind of flow, do you think I’d be giving away my talent for free?)  in the laundry room, when Jakob comes in, looking rather grim.  “Dad.  I gotta tell you something.  But, you’re gonna get mad.”

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