Disney World Ain’t for Kids. Pt 5.

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Disclaimer:  I have a feeling I’m gonna take a lot of shit for this piece.  Probably lose my lucrative Disney sponsorship, in the process.  But, what the hell, right?!?!?  YOLO!  We’re just having a lil fun here.  I love WDW probably more than most of you.  I’ve taken my kids there several times (Sarah being there the most…at least 5 times). So, make sure your sense of humor is firmly in place before moving any further…

If you’re feeling all uppity, you can pick up where we last left off with Disney World Ain’t for Kids PT4.

Man!  Can’t believe it’s been over 5 weeks since the last time I updated this series.  Talk about bringin’ one back from the dead. Sheesh. The last time I worked on this series, the world was a significantly different place. Barack Obama was president. The US was knee deep in recession recovery. The country was divided. Oh, wait. Maybe it wasn’t that long ago. Still…if this series was a dead body, we’d have some serious decomposition. I mean, there probably wouldn’t be all that much left besides skeleton. All the soft, gooey stuff would’ve been devoured by insects long ago.

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VACATION WEEK! Epilogue 2. PT 2

In case you missed it, you can pick up part one here.  But, I KNOW you didn’t miss it!

…and THAT was my mistake.  Well, yet another one of my mistakes, that is.  I shouldn’t have laid the phone down.  There must’ve been some water in it somewhere (well, duh).  And laying it down, just caused it to settle.  I knew I shouldn’t have put it down.  Stupid!  FYI.  Trust your instincts, folks. They’ll never lead you wrong.  You heard it hear, first.  Stupid water.  What it giveth, it can take awayeth.

stupid, life giving water! so stupid, doesn't even know when it turns into a solid, it should sink instead of float!

But, I’m getting a little ahead of myself here.

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What IS the Deal with VACATION WEEK!?!?

This post is another one of thoses that I usually save for the Editor’s page.  But, the back story to VACATION WEEK! is so complex (ie stupid), that I wanted to set it up here, because I don’t even visit the editor’s page that often, let alone anyone else.

I mentioned in “(What Should Be) Prelude to VACATION WEEK!”, that my plan for VACATION WEEK! got totally screwed up. All my content, all the pics I took, all the video…gone.  GONE!  Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives…

stupid iphone. make hulk cry.
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More Crimes and More Punishments Pt 2

who knew that fake pastry could be so painful?

Part one of “More Crimes and More Punishments” can be found here.

…I handed the pop tart back to Jethro.

“What???”  He replied, sticking his hands up in front of him, startled.  “Why are you giving it back to me?”

I shoved the pop tart further into his airspace.  “Take it!” I hissed.

“But,” Jethro pleaded. “I don’t want it.”

“I don’t care.  Take it.”

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No Shirt, No Shoes? You’ll Learn! Pt3

uhhh...no.  no thank you.  ok...well, maybe.

Pick up the story here…

Voicemail.

Yes!  I didn’t have to talk to the Mother!  OKOKOKOK.  C’mon, now!  I didn’t just leave it at that.  Have you been following along here?  That’s not what I’m about.  I left a message for her.  I even followed it up with a text!  How you like me now?  Whatever kind of person the Mother is, she still deserves the right to know what’s going on with the kids, at least according to the law.

So, in the meantime, I continued to tend to Jethro. He was calming down, but the cut was still not clotting.  Any kind of movement would cause it to bleed a little bit more.  I made arrangements with one of Jethro’s associate’s parents to watch the rest of the kids while I ran him to whichever hospital I was running him too.

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