What would a Tales from the Vacation be without a crossover to Planet of the Jakes? Not much, that’s for damn sure.
Every year I say the same thing before every vacation never again: “I’m only buying ice cream/water ice two or three nights this week. Not every night! It’s too damn expensive.” And like the sucker I am, I end up buying ice cream/water ice how often? Right! Every flippin night.
This one particular evening, we were up on the boardwalk (again). The kids begging for ice cream. And because my small brain can only handle so much begging from four kids, I broke down and bought them frozen treats.
Say what you will about my strength/testicular fortitude. But, I defy you to stand your ground when four kids under your charge beg for something, simultaneously, You couldn’t do it, either. It’s one of the most effective enhanced interrogations used by the government. How do you think they got Bin Laden?
If it’s August (and at the time of this writing, it sure as shootin’ is), that can only mean one thing…No. Not back to school. Well, I mean…yea…it does. But it also means…Tales from the Vacation!!!!
Yup. It’s that time of year when your friendly neighborhood jman packs the family roadster up with kids, food and assorted shit fun, and heads on down to America’s Greatest Family Resort, Ocean City NJ.
Over the last few years, we’ve been staying at the same place in good ol’ Ocean City. Why? Because the place is fairly reasonable and it’s not a hundred mile walk to the beach, either. But that reasonability comes with a price. The beds are horrible. Horrible. I suspect they were crafted in the early 90’s (1890’s that is).
Proof the zombie phenomenon jumped the shark.
the almost internet famous internet MINI show is back! and with out a moment to spare! step right up and
don’t be shy cause you will not believe your eyes see the brilliant idear your friendly neighborhood jman came up with for Wizard World 2014!
Shall we? OK. Here goes: Over the course of say…17 years, how many times do you have to tell kids to put their shoes on the step before they finally start doing it?
One time? Six times? 2166 times?
I’ll give you a moment to come up with a number.